Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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