do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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