Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
