my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
