that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
