booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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