I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That's how pantless uber rides happen
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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