shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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