You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When are your genitals available?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
