I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
