i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
