he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
