Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
