I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
