Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
