Whod you bang
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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