Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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