there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
