you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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