im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
