She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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