I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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