Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
