i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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