I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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