dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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