Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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