the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
