Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
