6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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