She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
