I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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