do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't deserve a penis
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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