Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
