Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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