if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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