i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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