porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
