I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
