Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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