dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I didn't notice because vodka
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
