I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
