Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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