He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
