Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
