And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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