whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
