oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
