This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
