If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
