Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
