Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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