would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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