You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
